Foster Parent

Articles on Parenting | Topics: parenting, parent, parents

by Juan Jensen

Despite all the foster care training that I got, being a foster parent was something I was wholly unprepared for. I have always considered myself a very kind and nurturing person, and the only reason I didn't have children is because of the fact that I didn't think the human race needed more people right now. With 6 billion souls and growing, the earth's population is doing fine without my added genetic contribution. With foster parenting, I thought I could make a difference in the lives of children who are already born without bringing more into the world. I didn't realize how difficult it was and how hard foster parents had it.

Don't get me wrong – being a foster parent has in many ways been extremely rewarding. Nevertheless, it didn't start out that way. Foster parents end up getting some of the most difficult children that there are. You see, many of the foster care kids have been shuffled around from foster home to foster home for so long that they are unable to form meaningful connections. They are so used to being abandoned that they cannot trust adults – and who can blame them? The system has failed them over and over again, so they are likely to act up as soon as they get in your house. After all, negative attention is the only attention that they can get. There is nothing like the love of an adult authority figure in their lives.

Historical Quote

The years when we are parenting teenagers are the high point, the crest when everything seems to be in bright colors and in ten-foot letters.

—Jean Jacobs Speizer. Ourselves and Our Children, by Boston Women’s Health Collective, ch. 4 (1978)

It was this deplorable fact that made me think of foster parent adoption as a real possibility. I had never been motivated to adopt a child before, because I wasn't sure that I wanted the permanent commitment. I feel that parenting is a decision that should be made carefully. If you are not completely sure that you can be there for a child for 18 years, you shouldn't do it. However, once I spent some time with as a foster parent, I realized that I wanted to adopt. I loved the foster children too much to let them stay on in the system any longer.

All in all, I am glad that I decided to become a foster parent. Not only do I have a wonderful son and daughter now, but I was able to make the difference in the lives of many other children. Without foster parenting, I never would have realized that I was ready to have a kid of my own.

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Please note: All personal opinions expressed in the "Foster Parent" article belong to the contributing author and are not necessarily shared by FamilyBabyKids.com.

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