Daddy Duties - What the Men Can Do to Help the Expectant Mom

Articles on Motherhood | Topics: motherhood, moms, mom

by Agnes Arnold

What can the expecting dad do to make his wife's pregnancy more enjoyable for all? There is plenty. Bond with your partner and make her feel good about her body and self. Make sure to let her know what is going on in your mind. Good communication is key during the pregnancy. Talk to one another and have together time. This will let you both know you are still in love and bring you closer.

It is important that you both know each other well. Once the baby comes, she might be feeling apprehensive about her new role as a mom. Talk it out. Make sure you talk about your worries with your partner and listen to hers. This will help keep communication open and stay in tune with each other. Make it a two-way street. Use this time to listen and speak, exchange ideas, worries and laughs.

Many women find that they have different sex drives with each pregnancy, so if she isn't in the mood this time don't be bummed out, it could be different next time. It is better not worry about whether your sex life has gone down or up and just focus on intimacy. It is different for all women and men. Some feel renewed with their new bodies and having to use no birth control, while others just feel awful. Make sure you have some intimacy bond, and make sure she knows you aren't mad if she just can't have sex right now. Talking with her you might find she thinks it is a great opportunity to try new things and experiment with new positions. Many men have no problem with having sex while pregnant. For many men the fact that their wife is carrying their child is the most spectacular thing in the world and they can't be close enough to them. They want the intimacy and crave to be sexually close to their wives. On the other hand there are men who get a bit freaked out. They are afraid of hurting their wives with sex or can't imagine "desecrating" a pregnant woman. Some men find the ever-changing pregnant body not as appealing, like it serves a different function now. Open communication and listening to each other is very important during this time. If it is you who just can't know, talk with her and let her know your fears so she doesn't think you find her gross or unappealing.

Bit of History

The only thing that seems eternal and natural in motherhood is ambivalence.

—Jane Lazarre (20th century)

Keep a sense of humor, if things don't work the first time try new stuff and try again. There is a good chance that you will find sex even better than ever and she could even experience multiple orgasms. Her breasts might be very sensitive right now so be sure to ask your wife what feels good and what is too much. For those men living with ladies who either can't or just have no desire for sex, there are many other ways to be intimate and stay close to your partner. Cuddling, kissing, massage, caressing each other, or what ever else you like can be just as good. No matter what happens to your sex life during pregnancy, it's important to keep the lines of communication open. Talk and listen to each other and communicate what you want and need, and be respectful and receptive to your partners needs too. There are other ways to create intimacy during pregnancy.

Treat her to a massage. Give her a great rub down with coco butter. This will melt her worries away and reduce the chance for stretch marks. Many women and men will go to classes on massage instead. This allows you to be able to massage your wife anytime she may need it. The couple is trained on what kind of massage is good and what should be avoided. This allows you, the dad-to-be, to help relax mom when she is uncomfortable and during labor. Many women love and appreciate even light touch from their partners during labor. They find it relaxing and easing, in turn have a better labor with less anxiety and need for medication. This type of massage also allows couple to have more intimacy as the pregnancy progresses. In this case the massage benefits the entire couple and not just the receiver. The more that you practice at home, the more you know what feels good to her. This will make you a much better labor coach and you will already know what works for her and be confident that you are helping.

Massage is something a couple can benefit from all the time. Not just during pregnancy but also in the postpartum period. This is a trying time and the addition of a new baby and not being able to have sex can be trying on a couple. Using massage can help couples stay connected to each other and have some form of intimacy. Parents can also massage the baby, which is highly recommended. Many childbirth classes have a section of pregnancy and infant massage. So this can really help you pamper your wife but also be used to pamper you as well.

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Please note: All personal opinions expressed in the "Daddy Duties - What the Men Can Do to Help the Expectant Mom" article belong to the contributing author and are not necessarily shared by FamilyBabyKids.com.

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