Wedding Considerations When It is a Second Marriage

Articles on Marriage | Topics: marriage, marry

by Willie Fischer

Second marriages require a host of issues that differ from the preparations for a first marriage. In addition to all the logistics relating to party plan that plague a first wedding, second time brides and grooms deal with additional issues. Some of these issues include legal issues, determining who pays for the wedding, deciding what type of attire the bride and groom will wear and possibly even dealing with having your own children involved in the process if either of you already have children from a previous marriage.

The most important wedding consideration in a second marriage is the legal documentation. It is imperative that you obtain certifiable proof that you are no longer legally married to another person before you enter into a second marriage. If you previous spouse is deceased a death certificate would serve as proof. If your previous spouse is still alive, you will need to acquire a divorce decree as proof that you are no longer married.

The subject of the cost of the wedding and who bears the financial burden is an important consideration if you are dealing with a second marriage. The bride's parents typically pay for a first marriage but if this is the second marriage for the bride, the parents may not be willing or able to pay for a second wedding. In this situation the couple themselves will usually shoulder the financial burdens of the wedding. This is not a cause for concern because when the wedding is for a second marriage, the event is usually not as extravagant as a wedding for a first marriage. If the couple is paying for the wedding themselves, they should focus on setting a budget beforehand and ensuring that they do not exceed their budget constraints. However, if this is a second marriage for the groom but the first marriage for the bride, the bride's parents may be excited to help in paying for the wedding. Even though the bride's parents are paying for the wedding, the couple may still opt for a simple wedding that does not put a financial strain on the parents.

Historical Quote

With my desire to write he seemed in full sympathy, and in urging our early marriage he argued that my first necessity was leisure in which to develop and to master my craft. It appeared to me that with such a man as teacher and guide I could not fail, and it was in a queer mixture of young love and vaulting ambition that I became a wife.

—Rheta Childe Dorr (1866–1948)

The subject of wedding attire is another important consideration when planning a wedding for a second marriage. It's important to remember that although some people may disapprove of a bride wearing white when it is her second marriage it really doesn't matter what others think. The most important thing is that the couple themselves feel comfortable with their choices. If the bride wants to wear white even though it is her second wedding, she should go ahead and do so. Whether the couple chooses to walk down the aisle in traditional wedding attire or jeans and sneakers is completely up to them. They should not let the potential of disapproval by others affect their attire choices.

If either the bride or groom has children from a previous relationship, the couple will have to deal with issues relating to the children. The couple will want to discuss their wedding plans with the children early in their engagement to give the children plenty of time to adjust to the idea that their parent will be remarrying. It's important that you inform your ex-spouse of your wedding plans at the same time as your children so that you are not putting your child in the difficult situation of keep a secret from their other parent. Once your child has been informed of the wedding plans, discuss the planning with them and ask them how much they would like to be involved. If they are not comfortable with the plans they may not want to be too involved initially but this may change once the planning starts to get more exciting. Children can be involved in the wedding in a number of ways. Depending on their age they can serve as flower girls and ring bearers or bridesmaids and groomsmen. Children can also play a role in the planning process by helping with decorations, favors and decisions that need to be made. The more involved they are, the less likely they are to feel left out and resentful about the wedding.

Planning a wedding that is a second marriage for either or both members of the couple involves a few extra precautions and issues. Having your legal documentation proving that you are no longer married is the most important issue in a second marriage. Beyond that other issues relate to finances, attire and children.

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Please note: All personal opinions expressed in the "Wedding Considerations When It is a Second Marriage" article belong to the contributing author and are not necessarily shared by FamilyBabyKids.com.

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